How to ask your boss an increase in salary

Send a letter to him like this: Dear Bo$$, I am $ure you mu$t have under$tood the importance of money in a man'$ life. You $hould be under$tanding the need$ of your worker$ who have given you $upport and have done a lot of $ervice to your company. I hope you under$tand what i mean and act accordingly. Your reply awaited. Yours $incerely, xyz
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The Bo$$ may reply like this: Dearest dear me, I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that your company isn't NOticeably well. NOw the newspaper says the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NO vember presidential elections things may turn bad. I have NOthing more to add NOw. You k NOw what I mean.
hehehe.