A test in Zoology

A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and
the only one available was wildlife Zoology.

After one week, the test was held. The professor passed out a sheet of a paper,
divided it into four squares. In each square was a carefully drawn picture of
a bird's legs. No body, no feet, just legs. They [students] were asked
to identify the birds from their legs. The student sat and stared at the
test getting angrier every minute.

Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on
the teacher's desk. "This is the worst test i have ever given."

The teacher looked up and said: "Young man, you have flunked the test.
What's your name?"

The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said:

"You tell me..."

Funny Gif Images

Give 20-25 seconds for the images to load.
Click on the images to view them seperately.

Once upon a time ..

It was quite late in the evening.
Son : Mummy, do all fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..." ?
His mother, looking at her husband who was just entering the house replied: No. Sometimes they begin with "Sorry dear, ...I was delayed at the office."

Two Fools

First Lawyer : You are a fool!
Second Lawyer : You are a damn fool!

Judge : As the two learned lawyers have now identified each other, i now request to proceed the case!

Hahaha

Sardar : Tell me doctor, when i stand on my head, the blood rushes to it. Why doesn't it rush to my feet?
Doctor : That's because your feet aren't empty!

Indian election : Application form

1. Name of Candidate: ____________________________ [Real name only]


2. Present Address:

Name of Jail : ________________________________

Cell Number: ________________________________

(If not in Jail, attach proof of illegally occupied residence)



3. Political Party: _______________________________ (List ONLY the Last Five Parties in chronological Order)



4. Sex: [ ]

A.Male

B.Female

C.Mayawati



5. Nationality: [ ]


A.Italian

B.Indian

(If Indian, attach attested copy of ration card, police certificate, passport, birth certificate, electricity bill, phone bill and local goondas NOC.

If Non-Indian, just check box A)



6. Reasons for leaving last party (circle one or more)

A.Defected

B.Expelled

C.Bought out

D.None of above

E.All of above


7 . Reasons for contesting election (circle one or more)

A.To make money

B.To escape court trial

C.To grossly misuse power

D.To serve the public

E.I have no clue

(If you choose ‘D’, then attach certificate of sanity from a recognized government PSYCHIATRIST)


8. How many years of public service experience do you possess? [ ]

A.1-2 years

B.2-6 years

C.6-15 years

D.15+ years



9. Give details of any criminal cases pending against you..

(use as many additional sheets as you want)



10. How many years have you spent in jail? (Do not confuse with Question 8)

A.1-2 years

B.2-6 years

C.6-15 years

D.15+ years



11. Are you involved in any financial scams?

A.Why not

B.Of course

C.Definitely

D.I deny it all

E.See a foreign hand



12. What is your Annual CORRUPTION Income?

A.100-500 Crores

B.500-1000 Crores

C.Overflow….
(Convert all your $ earning from Hawala etc. to Rupees)


13. Do you have any developmental plans for the country in mind?

A.No

B.No

C.No

D.No



14 . Describe your achievements in the space provided in brackets :

[ ] !!!!!!!




Thumb Impression of the Candidate:



MERA BHARAT MAHAAN


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Contributed by Abhijeeth

Best Friend

International Airlines

PIA does not stand for Pakistan International Airlines. It means "Please inform Allah.''
Then again, AI doesn't denote Air India --- rather it means "Already informed.''

Pleasure In Vexes

“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
“No,” she replied, ” but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”